Leaders: Your Actions Today Are Dictated By What You Saw Yesterday
Leaders: Your Actions Today Are Dictated By What You Saw Yesterday by Casey Reason
According to the Pew Research Center, when parenting, 88% of us are actively and ongoingly trying to emulate, or part ways with, the way we were raised. This means as we are facing the challenge of raising our children today, our brains are ongoingly scanning our past and looking for examples, and non-examples, of what to do next! To that end, most of us can recall a time when the voice in our memory became the voice on our lips, and we sounded exactly like one of our parents, for better or worse.
So what does this simple truth about observational learning mean for leaders who want to continue to grow? Let’s narrow it down to one simple truth. For better or worse, your actions today are dictated by what you saw or experienced yesterday. Leaders that are truly in charge of their own growth trajectory are aware of this influence, and take control of it. Here’s what I recommend to help leaders better unpack what’s in your head and heart about leadership, and what you can do about it to improve.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”
Soren Kierkegaard
What you see
1. When you hear the word leadership, what do you see?- In coaching sessions or working in workshops I will challenge participants to take a moment and actually illustrate what they see in their mind when they hear the word leadership. If you take your time and do this, and really think about the images you observe, it can tell you a lot. For example, I often work with leaders who see leadership as a character behind some matter of a podium, leading and inspiring others with words. This has been a long standing image where leadership is dependent on standing over others and using words to shape behaviors. Others see images that are more mutually inclusive, such as spinning, interconnected concentric circles. While this is not some type of leadership Rorschach test, it's helpful for you as a starting point to really get a perspective on what exists in your head regarding what it means to be a leader. Take a moment and do it now!
2. Where does this image come from?- In a workshop recently, I had a leader illustrate a rather militaristic view of what he saw in the word leadership. There was in his illustration, a great degree of emphasis on marching order and aligned control. In explaining that image, he said that he had been in the military and had gone to a very strict military academy in high school. To that end, his view of leadership today was definitely shaped by those illustrations.
In your case, what do you think shaped your perspective? What was it about your past that gave you this image of leadership? Keep in mind, in some cases it might even be books you’ve read or movies you’ve watched. I can remember being moved by the starwort steadiness of Atticus Finch and wishing that upon my own style. So, where does your picture come from? Is the character you see or the image you are pursuing worthy of your work?
3. Are you leading in the image of what you illustrated? – In thinking about the answer to this question, I would then challenge you to reflect not only on how you're leading, but on the needs of those that you are leading today. For example, in the highly militarized image of leadership that I was referencing in the previous example, the workshop participant indicated that the people he led we're highly successful self-starters, and he admitted that at times his imposition of structure wasn't necessary and probably inhibited to some degree their creative process. This was an interesting comparison because he also said that earlier in his career he had served as a leader of a far less mature group where that highly structured, directive approach served his constituents quite well.
What he hadn't done however until this exercise was truly evaluate whether he was applying what was in his head strategically, or simply leading the way the image in his head had taught him, without regard to the unique circumstance he found himself in today. For you, I would challenge you to indeed have the same conversation with yourself. Does the image you have in your head truly align with the type of leader that is needed in your work today?
Seeing still more
4. Look for exemplars and watch them carefully!- Since we are perpetually seeing more things everyday, leaders must be thoughtful about the new images that are introduced as they will continue to guide and direct our present day actions. For example, a steady exposure of a highly autocratic, arbitrary leader could potentially shape the images in our heads, and potentially change how we lead. To that end, the best leaders are perpetually looking for exemplars. Those powerful and affirming examples can show up at any point in our careers, and we should look for people who are leading in a way that we can learn from. I always recommend selecting leaders who may not exactly fit your profile. Maybe they identify differently, are older or younger, or have a very different personal makeup. I love their exemplars because their differences allow you to truly observe how they lead, and then look for applications of their style, while still being yourself.
5. Identify leaders who shaped you, positively and negatively- In a bit of an effort of true confessions, I would recommend that you get really clear about the leaders that had the most impact on you, positively or negatively. Think about those leaders that truly did create some sort of emotional response. If you have for example a leader that was potentially very frustrating to work for, what was it about those actions that you observed that you are determined not to emulate. I would recommend recording those items and reflecting directly on the kind of leader you're trying to avoid becoming. Secondly, obviously take a careful look at those leaders that you truly did admire and reflect directly on what made them special. The leader that had the most impact on my career was a hard driving, very direct servant leader who was unrelentingly focused on her goal. She was strong, powerful, direct, and had a palpable commitment to other people. There have been so many points in my career when I have visualized her in thinking about the moves I hope to make. Think about your own exemplars. See them move.
In thinking about this suggestion you may wonder why I would advise you to give even the slightest consideration to non-examples. To that end, I would highly recommend that you spend a lot more time focusing on exemplars over non examples. However, the reason I would have you reflecting on both is because leaders that had a powerful, emotionally bound impact on us shape our memory, whether we like it or not. To deny the existence of those non-examples is to try to erase our memories, and historically when our experiences have a strong emotional bond, they are impossible to forget. Therefore, use what's already embedded, think about what you want to move away from, and then just as powerfully, view that exemplar, and move in a straight direction towards the actions that define that kind of leader.
6. See the type of leader you want to be. – Finally, and this wouldn't necessarily have to be done last, I would encourage you to reflect very specifically on the type of leader you would like to become. Almost without regard to what you illustrated when you were drawing what you see in your mind's eye about what it means to be a leader, think about the kind of leader that you aspire to be. For example, I was coaching a leader recently who recognized that he had come from a very traditional background, but wanted very much to be far more inclusive, evolved, and situational in his dealings with those he worked with. To that end, I suggested that he ignore a lot of what he had visualized in the past, and instead begin to visualize exactly the kind of leader he'd hoped to be, because sadly, he really didn’t have a strong exemplar. Because of that deficit, he had to go looking for more examples. We put him on a steady diet of reading about the kind of leader he wanted to be, and he went looking for that kind of leader to get to know and observe.
Conclusion
Without question, the leader we want to become is a process of self-discovery. We have to look within and build that leadership sensibility from the inside out. Hopefully, as I’ve articulated in this article, you have some images from your past that will inform that inner construction of the leader you want to be. If not, go find and observe the kind of leader that's needed to serve those you work with today.
Remember, every leadership situation is going to require something different of every leader who serves them. Go and build what you need within so that those you serve can experience the leadership they deserve.
Horovitz, A. (2021). What we know about online learning and the homework gap amid the pandemic. Pew Research Center. Retrieved from Pew Research Center.